Wednesday, August 22, 2012

An Introduction...

**Please Note, This blog post is dated so that it will remain at the top of the blog. This was my first post so I am going to leave it. I will better explain as we go along.**

"Remembering Me"
(This post was my original thought of how this blog would go but as you read past this post, you will see that I am now free from worrying about when, how, and who to say it to. I promise, I will make more sense as you go. Now, on to the following first post.)
This is the title I had decided on for my 2012 life journal project that will begin, now and go until it is finished. I am going to aim for 6 months for now. So, just a bit of reasoning behind this project so it will make sense to you.
30 years of love, marriage, children, grandchildren, the loss of my father that left too soon. The loss of my Grandmother, and other loved ones as well. Such losses that have left such huge holes in my heart, my life, and my soul, that I just couldn't seem to re-fill them again and seemingly no-one around that would help me. 
And on top of such great losses to me I also have to deal with the loss of my grandchildren... 
(longer, painful story) As well as all the ups and downs of life it's self...
I reached a point where I woke up one morning and asked myself, where did "I" go?! "Who" am I? and what is really left of the person I once was? Is she still in there? Is it too painful to even try to dig "her" up?! After all, there are reasons I had to bury her in the first place right? Reasons like hurts, pain, failures, and yes, even hopelessness.
Well, if you, like myself, are ready to find the answers to some or all of these questions that you may find yourself asking "yourself" as I have asked myself, then you are welcome to join me in this process of progress for the new beginning of our lives! Just as the teacher told Anne in "Anne of Green Gables," today is brand new with no mistakes in it", I keep trying to remember this very thing. Not if, but when I fail some way today, tomorrow is a fresh, brand spankin' new day with no mistakes in it! Which interprets into the one thing we as living, loving, and thriving beings must never lose the vision of, "H-O-P-E". Something that at this point in my life I seem to lose sight of all too often! But the "real" question is, how do I get it back?? How do I get back to living?
This journal project is not just to record the daily happenings of my life but it "will be" a very raw emotional and personal creation in progress. It may not be for those who have not come to this particular point in their life as of yet. It is meant to help me coherently open my eyes, to wake up, and  to help my understanding of all the stuff life throws at me, and hopefully to once again, open my heart to hope always, to dream without limits, and to remember how to breathe so I can LIVE life again! Not just exist in the shell of the person I once called "me, myself, and I".
I will be committing to at least a "once a week" entry with this project. At least once a week that I will share a question or maybe an answer that I have found with you who choose to walk this path with me. Maybe even some times I'll have a question that I will find the answer to all in one week! That is my goal. But for the sake of not letting anyone down I am committing to once a week for now. If there is more I can share I certainly will because it is not only myself that I am trying to help and make peace with, I want to hopefully have a hand in possibly helping someone else who might feel just like me at this point in their life as well. This too, is also my goal. 
Look a there! Already "two" reasons to reach for more than I already am or may have ever been! Myself, and You.
   So!! I am asking for you to help me out here. I am asking you to share your life stories with me as well whether in private or as a comment here on this blog. I am not looking to judge or to be judged, just to help and be helped. I think those rules are as simple as it gets! I don't claim to have even half of the answers that I need!  And NO, I do not have to share any of this with any of you, but, if it will help anyone at all in even the very smallest of ways, then I am happy to do so.
Here's to Hope!
Live your Life!
Hugz 2 U!

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